B N Missions

BELOVED
How are you? I am good. Gosh it has been a about 2 weeks, huh? Well I went on outreach for a weekend to a Micondi Village. It was a hard weekend, but the Lord taught me so much. I have been places that I was the one that stood out and looked difrent but this was honestly as though I was "The Alien". So much so, that as I was sitting next to a little village boy while some in my group were praying. and before you know it I am surrounded by village kids and I was starting to get smothered so I started to get up. As I did - let me paint the picture (do you remember the movie toy story when one of the charcters is at the aracde and the little green aliens, and all in unicion say "ooooooohhhhhhh") well in unicon there was a oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh from the children, as if to say, the white person moved wow. I thought at that very moment I am the aline here, weird!!!! It is a wierd moment when you relize you are a true alein and the mother ship has just moved. YIkes. okay enough goofyness.

Other things about the weekend.... Well I definatly felt and saw witch cratch and it's effects. I was not the leader of this group but flet at times like it. I was trying to rally my group (the troups) to praising the Lord and praying they all said they coulnd think of one song to sing. that is crazy out a group of 8,some one shoudl hav now at least one praise song, that confirmed more in me that we were being distracted and lulled to sleep byt he spirits of the village. You could feel the oppresion in this village, actually both villages we went to. one wouldn't let us show the Jesus film. And the second village I wondered for a minuet if they were going to mob us. but we started to pray and I could feel a change. Bt the first village even my own thoughts were crazy like "who are we to bring them a white God. does He have any relevence to them. Is he just a man that we are all worked up about." And the huge lesson i learned is that the influence of evil sounded just like my own thoughts. and therefore I entertained them. IF you know that you are being atcked you won't put up with it or you reconize a diffrent voice and you shut it down. But when it is your own thoughts I think of it as my logic and ponder on them. But this showed me that Satan can make it sound like our own thoughts but it is not us, he is enfluencing. He can enfulence our emotions and mood. But with all this I had to consciencely keep choosing to not belive these these thoughts and had to CHOOSE to say outloud "no you are not crazy for beliveing in christ". And stating "I belive in Christ and to proclaim to the governing spirits that I am Christ's." (Eph.6:12-13) And had to choose to praise him.

It was very hard also becasue after you have thoughts like that I wasted no time in condeming myself in saying how could you think that way and you call yourself a christain. (1john 3:20-21) and then thought I can't tell anyone about this they will think I am not a strong beliver or a good chrisitan. WEll that is a bunch of BS. Yes I used that expression because that is what it is. Satan wants us to hide our faults or sins. and there we start to protect them, as little secrets. and they start to have a hold on us like blackmail would, it is poison. The bible says to bring things in to the light. so I also tell this so maybe it is a way to help others, and I declaire that I don't care what you think when you read all that beacue the issue or offense was between me and God anyways. and not between me and man. I could write so much more on what I learned on outreach. yikes. a few days in a place like that can teach you so much. but honestly God can teach you so much whereever you are if you are open to hearing his voice and leading. I am learing that and tring to walk in that as week speak. Shoudl't I being doing that all the time, walking in His strength, yeah but I stumble and start over. and sometimes when you start over it feels like the first time you have ever tried, all over again.

If you are wondering what I am talking about and thinking man they will let anyone have a blog these days to ramble sorry, and just quit reading cause I will contiune to ramble about what God is teaching me.

So when we got back we always hear of great testimonies from the outhreaches. For example, how the other group prayed over the witch doctor and he got his catoracts healed and became radially saved. Well we came back pretty much feeling beat up. But as we found out... Macondi is a peopel group that is unreached.Iris ministries has been really going after the Macuwa, and just recently started work on the Macondi. and they are just starting to reachout to them. but they have very hard hearts and they are people who still eat eachother. YUP :) Still canibals, and Hiedi I belive has been stoned by them. I found out these things after I got back and not before, thankfully. But Hiedi said that "they won't eat a white person cause they wouldn't want to go to jail and if they eat you some body would notice you were gone and they would get in trouble" and then she proceeded to giggle about the whole thing. You just gotta laugh some times about how the world is still is in so many places.

Oh another thing we can praise Adoni for is when we were driving to the village which took about 8 hours in a flat bed on VERY bumpy roads, I am talkin pot holes up to y knees sometimes. And 5 hours on the way back. Like I said you jsut gotts laughabotu it sometimes. DAD you would love it they drive like they are in a race (the indi 500). K so the driver says oh "this is a park". We say "what kind of park". He says "you know a park with lions and elephants". Note we had already seen a baboon on the road while driving. And I thougth well at least we are in a car and I am sure when we get to the village we will have driven through and be out of the park. AHH, I was wrong. We aparently stayed in the park. We slept in a fenced in little place (bammboo fence, that won't keep any of those animals out). But I had peace and felt safe with the Lord. And The lord did keep us safe. THANK YOU LORD. SO if you think ah, she is fine i dont' need to pray, let me say this about ALL missionaries you NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY ARE FACING. SO please keep them in your prayers.

What can I say- the Lord is mighty and good. the past two days I have heard stories of pastors here that have prayed and watched the Lord raise people from the dead. So as we sang this moring in worship "death has lost it's sting and sin has lost it's shame" has so much more relavence to me now. The song is Marvelous light- it's s good one.

One more quick thing I am reading a book called Rees Howells - Intercessor. a required reading for me here , but it is kicking my butt and really showing me what it is to yeild to the lord. To let the Holy Spirit lead us. I hope you will read it your selves.

I have been wrestlying with weather to go on the 2 week outreach. and just feeling like I can't do it, it is too much!!!! But the lord has been showing me you can do it I will take care of you we can get through this. and changing my heart. And also reminding me of Jonha and how we all have callings and it is better to fullfill what the Lord is asking you to do. and if you don't who will. So I am going to the bush bush bush ( translation - way out in the middle of no where, to villages that have never seend white people.) for 2 weeks of evangilisim. Every single prayer you can offer will be used belive me. I am stepping out side of my strength (which is very low here). and walking with nothing else but Gods strength. I honestly can't say I have seen that lived out very often but maybe by one person in my life. I know on paper that sounds lovely and we all are thinking we should be walking in the Lord's strength and no t in our own all te time. but do we really or do we have other options set up and ways out.but this makes me nosous of how big this feels, but have to remind myself He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. well I must go. -b