Update

I am home for a bit again in Santarem. Someone pointed out that I have 7 weeks left here. It made me shriek. Counting in weeks makes it sound so small. It's such a hard thing to express the great want to see you again (friends, family, familiar places and customs), and yet the other half of me feels like, "No, I am not done here, there is so much to do." As my time is coming to an end I pray that the Lord will guide me as to what steps He wants me to take when I am finished with my 6 month commitment here. BUT, if you know me, I think, contemplate, and wrestle with little decisions let alone big ones. And so I have been asking the Lord what He wants me to do, even before I arrived here. But I am learning over and over to give it over to the Lord.
He is also teaching me to seek His face, not his hand. When I heard this the first time in a message I thought I would never do that, and As I have heard it more recently I had the same reaction, I am not seeking Him for physical things, but then it dawned on me, I am seeking Him for a decision and not just seeking Him. Thank goodness He is patient. I am banking on that cause I seem to keep messing up. And I think of the task we have been given to make disciples of the whole world. That feels daunting to me.
So I am helping with this new cell group for twenty-something girls (yet I haven't been there much due to travel). But they are more affluent and educated, and in my experience that adds challenges to evangelize to. When I really take in the task God has called us to no matter where we live (make disciples, love the Lord your God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself). It I feels like I am standing at the bottom of a huge hill. It actually has brought me to tears a few times. How am I to get people to hear me about Jesus. But at the end of the day, it has nothing to do with me. He has to do it. He has to bring the people, He has to soften their hearts, He gives faith, He saves. He does it! (sigh) All the sudden I feel air returning to my lungs. I am a tool, He does it. SO I have to pray for Him to smooth the path, give me words, give me people, opportunities. Try to wrap your head around what a gracious God we have. He calls us to work, and then says you can't do it without me. He is the key component. So yeah I have responsibility, but once I do my part and step out in faith, be obedient, He has to do the rest.
If anybody from AGBC reads my updates, know that I miss you all. I miss worshiping with you guys, crying out to God together as a body. I miss those challenging messages from Chip and the communion times. Keep pushing on the Doors of Heaven.

Yesterday I was giving an English class and my two students blew me a way for there love for the Lord. They are around 18, but so on fire for God it encourages me. And our English class ends up being a Portuguese class for me too, so I only had one student that day. His name is Mardin Junio and yes, I spelled that right cause he corrected me. Hehe. So God has given him a sermon about running away or going up the mountain. He was talking about how God wanted to talk to all of the Israelites on top of Mount Siani. But they all ran away scared. And told moses to go. They were afraid of intimacy. When that is exactly what God wants. Are we gonna be scared of going up to God, being in His presence in the "cloud of God" as he put it? Or are we running away? The Lord told him to give this message at his cell group. He said people were coming off the street and half of them were not Christians in the group. So He was thinking, "I am scared to give this message, maybe I should talk about love or something else." But God was saying, "Give this message." He said even his mom was saying stop inviting people, we don't have anymore chairs, your crazy. But he quoted to me where Paul writes how he is crazy for Chirst. Juinio reminds me of a sermon he heard called Dangerous People. A previous discussion on how God is looking for Dangerous people. And continued to tell me about Rinhart Bonkie, a preacher who started with one person coming to hear him speak in Africa. One person. He was discouraged but God told him keep going, and his numbers grew form 1 to 1,000, to 2,000, 5,000, to 1mil, to I can't remember the insane number. That people have come to his crusades and also met their Savior. But at some point Rinhart said, "God that the maximum" and God said, "No I don't have a maxium." And how this man has gone into countries that have been closed to him but saught the Lord and it took 9 years but He got in and 2 million people came to the Lord.

It encouraged me tremedously and I thought, "Man, I am privileged to know this guy , Junio. I am the teacher yet he encourages me pretty much every time we meet. It spoke to me, "Am I runny scared away from the moutnain, or am I willing to go up?" But going up is not easy, you have to put the work in. It's a hike. Intamacy takes you putting the time in.

I can relate to Paul more and more as I am here. Where he writes in the Bible I long to see you, and thank you for your prayers, and I am thankful for you every time I think about you. Man those statements are so true. And when He says to the Philipians (I think) thank you for being the first to take care of my needs. To walk to make sure I was fed while in prison. Or those who gave without being asked. I reiterate those sentiments every time I get to speak with someone from home. But want to say to you all thank you for your support in prayers, encouragement, and financial gifts. They are all such a blessing to me and all equally important. Please know if you would like to join in on these I would love it. I will continue to search for the right words to express my gratitude, yet I have suspicions that I may never find sufficient words for my gratitude.

Written with love -Becca